When we’re sick, most of us have no problem with the idea of seeing a doctor, of taking medicine-doing whatever we need to do to heal.
For many who have been abused, it’s not that easy. Any form of abuse, including spiritual abuse, creates a sense of shame, distrust and pain in the people it affects.
Once a person realizes they’ve been spiritually abused and they have the courage to remove themselves from the abusive situation, they still have a mountain of emotions to overcome.
Since we began writing about spiritual abuse on Daily Jesus, it’s become one of the more popular subjects on the site. The comments on my first post Abuse is Real and it Hurts, made several things clear: many people have experienced spiritual abuse, many of those who have been abused struggle to find a healthy church, and many struggle to trust God and have a healthy relationship with him.
In the post Finding a Healthy Church After Facing Spiritual Abuse, we discussed a little bit about how to find a healthy church after dealing with spiritual abuse. I’m by no means an expert on any of these subjects, but I do have some experience with having distrustful feelings towards God because of how his followers have behaved.
When I first decided to try the “God thing” again after running for more than a decade, I made a “deal” with God. I told him that if I was going to have a relationship with him, then that’s all it could be about. Just me and him and not about what church I attend, special rules put on me by his followers or some unspoken expectation that I behave a certain way because of being a church leader’s kid.
After a while, I realized I was being absurd for making this “deal” with God. Having a one-on-one relationship is all he wants! The song Heart if Worship came to mean a lot to me. The link takes you to the full lyrics, but the chorus was something my heart still has to sing from time to time:
“I’m coming back to the heart of worship
And it’s all about You,
It’s all about You, Jesus
I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it
When it’s all about You,
It’s all about You, Jesus”
So what I’m saying is, as you start out on this journey of healing, realize that all God asks of you is your faithfulness to him. Yes, we are supposed to do good works, but it’s not the road to salvation.
Realizing that having a relationship with God is a wonderful, fruitful thing if the focus is right is just one step, however. Any person who has experienced abuse must deal with the emotional and mental damage that was done through some form of therapeutic means. Support groups and one-on-one therapy with a counselor are two key ways to accomplish this.
I would also like to suggest another program, called Celebrate Recovery. It’s a Bible-based, Christian program that doesn’t judge, preach or condemn. It’s for healing from all of life’s “hurts, habits and hangups.” You can find a local chapter or group by visiting the main Web site. And no, I’m not a paid spokesperson for the organization, just someone who has found a lot of help and healing through the program!
Well, we’ve discussed the idea of spiritual abuse, how to find a healthy church and also a few thoughts on finding personal healing. What other issues would Daily Jesus readers like to read or discuss regarding spiritual abuse? How can this ministry help you?
Last 5 posts by gingerbreadnewslady
- It's OK for churches to take snow days - May 7th, 2010
- Worth saving - February 7th, 2010
- Finding a healthy church after facing spiritual abuse - December 30th, 2009
- Do you experience 'Toxic Faith?' - October 26th, 2009
- Who am I? (Casting Crowns) - September 25th, 2009
