People often say recovery is a step-by-step process and that’s true. What that statement doesn’t tell us is that even within a “12-step” program or any other kind of recovery, there’s plenty of mini steps between the so-called big ones. It also doesn’t tell us that sometimes we have to take a step or two back to take leaps forward. It doesn’t seem to matter what kind of abuse a person encounters-be...

When people meet someone new, it’s a common practice to ask what each other does for a living. It also seems commonplace in a church setting for people to discuss their testimonies, specifically how long they’ve been a Christian. Imagine being in the awkward situation of not being able to answer that question! Strange, I know. But I’ve struggled to be able to tell people just when I became a Christian. This became an issue...

This is the scene that was out my front door (which I didn’t even bother to open) on March 21, the second day of spring. Some of you might be wondering why I’m writing about churches having snow days when it’s mid-May. Well, to be perfectly blunt, I spent half of April in the hospital and the other half recuperating. So, I never got to finish this blog. I’m finishing it now because the ideas are still timely. As...

About five years ago, I was more than 200 pounds overweight and in utter despair. I had doctors, friends, family members and strangers on the street try to help me change, try to fix me so I could be happier, healthier, etc. Although I knew in my heart that was the intention, it felt like they were trying to fix me so I would become more acceptable. I knew my weight would eventually kill me, but what most people didn’t get, and I...

When we’re sick, most of us have no problem with the idea of seeing a doctor, of taking medicine-doing whatever we need to do to heal. For many who have been abused, it’s not that easy. Any form of abuse, including spiritual abuse, creates a sense of shame, distrust and pain in the people it affects. Once a person realizes they’ve been spiritually abused and they have the courage to remove themselves from the abusive...